A Note on Bathroom Etiquette

by john on June 26, 2003

To the guy in stall two:

You’ve got six empty stalls to choose from yet you decide to camp out in the second stall, right next to me safely occupying the pole position in the first stall. Why? We are not ladies – there will be no conversation today. I’m reading the sports page trying to mind my own business and in you barge like a large grunting bear. The last thing a guy wants to see when he’s on the throne is a pair of size 12 Doc Martens poking out under the stall next to him. Don’t even think about asking if I’ve got a “square to spare.”

Understand this: you have an obligation to park in the third stall at an absolute minimum. Proper etiquette says you should park in the seventh stall unless it’s a handicap stall, then number five is fine. But the second stall? Come on man. With seven stalls we should be able to fit four guys comfortably all spaced out just like it should be. Stall one, then seven, then three, then five and only when the fifth guy shows should there be an neighborly business. Of course this also applies to urinals.

Is that so hard to understand?

{ 5 comments }

Move the Crowd June 27, 2003 at 7:45 am

Bathroom Etiquette

John does a nice job of breaking down the proper procedure for choosing a bathroom stall. I’ll never forget getting an e-mail years ago with similar ideas about choosing the proper urinal. These concepts should be instinctive, yet some people…

Tony S. June 27, 2003 at 9:17 am

It has been said, “Common sense isn’t all that common.”

Move the Crowd July 3, 2003 at 8:13 pm

Bathroom Etiquette

John does a nice job of breaking down the proper procedure for choosing a bathroom stall. I’ll never forget getting an e-mail years ago with similar ideas about choosing the proper urinal. These concepts should be instinctive, yet some people…

Colin September 4, 2003 at 12:42 pm

This little game pretty much covers it:
http://www.flasharcade.com/game.cgi?urinal

john September 4, 2003 at 9:27 pm

That’s great Colin, thanks for posting the link. I’m pleased to say I got all right except for the last, which was a trick question!

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