Wednesday Flight at the Improv

by john on November 19, 2003

Tonight was a first. Coming back from Chicago on Northwest and the flight attendant that made the usual tarmac preamble was actually given a round of applause. To which she replied, “If y’all weren’t strapped in you would have given me a standing ovation!”

Other witticisms by her that inspired the applause:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, there are four smoking sections on this flight…. outside each of the four wing exits”
“There will be a movie in the smoking section tonight…. Gone with the Wind.”
“If you are traveling with a child please assist him or her first with the oxygen mask before placing it on your own face. If you are traveling with more than one child, please take the time now to decide which you like the most and start with them first, working your way down.”

Later, upon landing:

“Sorry about that bumpy landing folks. It wasn’t the pilot’s fault. It wasn’t the co-pilot’s fault. It was the asphalt.”

Probably the funniest thing about her was her delivery. A slow Memphis drawl that I really hope was fake, but I fear was not.

Yeah, you probably had to be there.

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